Young People Do Not Care About The Oscars

Running with the lead is the best idea, no? If not, I'll repeat it. Young people do not care about the Oscars, and they certainly do not care about who hosts the Oscars. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot. The Oscars, in this respect, are like the Harry Potter film series. If you're going into the seventh film of the now eight-film saga and you've never seen a single movie or read a chapter in any of the books, you are a rare bird indeed. You're either in or you're out. By and large, the people who watch the Oscars are the people who always watch the Oscars, or awards shows in general.

All of this is to say that, yeah, announcing that James Franco and Anne Hathaway will be the next ceremony's hosts is nothing more or less than curious. We can all, I'm sure, give the Academy points for thinking outside of the box. My problem is that me congratulating them for this is also the biggest flaw, Congratulations, Academy, for choosing two people who no one would have considered to be Oscar hosts. Two people who no one thought should be or would be the hosts. Good job. Outside-the-box thinking, I guess. Now, sure, not every Oscar ceremony is presided over by someone who's either a real comedian or is trying to be one (as much as I like Alec Baldwin, he's a funny actor, not a comedian, no matter how many jokes he cracked last year). Last time that happened, though, Rob Lowe and Snow White sang "Proud Mary." And the last time a nominee hosted (as we all assume that Franco, at least, will get a Best Actor nod) was when Paul Hogan hosted. Because, as you know, Crocodile Dundee got nominated, for Best Original Screenplay.

I'm not saying that either Franco or Hathaway will be bad. I expect them to be...well, fine, at most. Hathaway, in particular, strikes me as the type of person who's going to be in complete control on stage. So, good for them. As it goes with many truly baffling choices these days in entertainment, I would do exactly what Franco and Hathaway have done. "Wait, you want me to host the Oscars? Really? You're sure? OK." Why not? More than likely, whatever happens on Oscar night this time around won't be as embarrassing as the Rob Lowe number. But the idea that's being posited by the Academy producers--that these two young actors will attract young viewers--is idiotic. James Franco, of course, has starred in three wildly popular films. Those films are the original Spider-Man trilogy, in which he's a supporting player. Anne Hathaway is a bigger star; it could be argued that she has legitimately opened movies, or come close to it. Neither are sure things. You want young viewers to watch? Hire Justin Bieber. Anyone else is nothing close to definite.