Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Death of a Broadcast Network

Catchy title, right? Yes, I've decided to grab your attention before I bore you with a rant. Wait, don't go! Now, I know what you're thinking: what do I have to add to the cacophony of voices letting you know about their opinions on the latest debacle NBC has gotten itself into, to the point that it's likely going to destroy its late-night TV shows? Well, sure, my opinion may not be more unique, and there are no insiders, but I can string together a complete sentence, so I'm a leg or two up on most of the bloggers out there.

As I write this, Conan O'Brien is taping what could be his last night as the host of "The Tonight Show". It could be his last night, it could be nowhere near his last night. However, after this latest twist, wherein Conan releases a plainly-written yet extremely sharp and pointed statement telling NBC to shove it, who knows? Zachary Levi. Tom Brokaw. Roseanne Cash. Keep those names in mind, in case this is his last show, and you get a unique trivia question in 20 years. Those are the three guests on tonight's show.

So, what can I tell you? NBC is peopled by morons in its executive branch. Conan O'Brien continues to be the funniest late-night host on the broadcast networks. Jay Leno continues to be the most boring, safe comedian on television (yes, even moreso than George Lopez). Jimmy Fallon is losing out on the same opportunity O'Brien had years ago to build his show from its start. Carson Daly...well, I do feel bad for him, as he's being completely ignored. Can't say his show's great, but he deserves his time on NBC more than Jay Leno does.

As I've said elsewhere, one day, a book will be written about how NBC killed itself through various moves, and I would imagine a whole chunk of the tome will be dedicated to this debacle. From the very beginning of the decision, NBC executives, specifically Jeff Zucker, made mistake after mistake. OK, you're going to kick Leno off in 2009 for O'Brien. Fine. You make the announcement in 2004, so we're all aware of it. But Leno gets antsy, and you decide to give him what he wants: more money. More time to do his brand of humor, which is perfect for people who don't realize that they don't have a sense of humor.

But why? Why choose Leno over O'Brien? Conan's still a hilarious comedian and host, whereas Leno hasn't been fresh since Hugh Grant. The ratings that Leno had at 10 P.M. were crap (and you know what? I couldn't care less if NBC was fine with his shitty ratings), and the fact that NBC was cool with them just shows how lazy they are. That's why NBC is morphing into a low-rent cable network. They are fine with failure. Zucker and his executive friends have been fine with keeping the status quo for years, even though the status quo has been going down, down, down. People like "Friends"? Supersize it. Makes sense on one hand, but on the other, it means that NBC doesn't have to create new programs. Get football. Solves part of the Sunday schedule, but not all of it. Remake British shows so you don't have to work on creativity. Once, you'll get lucky. But even the ratings of "The Office" aren't amazing. It's the network's highest-rated scripted series, and gets under 10 million viewers on a good day.

Conan did the right thing by speaking out today, and if he's got a good head on his shoulders, he'll be gone by Martin Luther King Day, and NBC will be stuck with the same old thing in late-night, a five-hour gap in their primetime schedule, and competition from networks like Telemundo and Univision. Jeff Zucker may have just had his contract re-upped, but one day, he is going to fall as rapidly as his network. If ever a dictionary had the phrase "epic fail" in its pages, the description would read NBC. No further explanation.

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