All Or Nothing

The proliferation of Internet culture mixing with everyday life is well documented, but make some room on the pile for another bit of chatter. I can only admit to being at the top of the pile now because I've been having these thoughts for a while, and who says this isn't a great time to write it down? (Also, as much as I'd love to talk more about Brett Ratner, Eddie Murphy, and the Oscars, I said my piece earlier in the week, back when they both were involved with the awards show.)

I suppose I have a different mentality when it comes to the way people communicate on the Internet. While I appreciate that everyone has the ability to act like a huge asshole online simply because the people they're being assholes to are likely never going to run into them at the grocery store, it's not how I operate. (Please, throw the parade tomorrow at lunchtime. Thank you in advance!) I have to watch my words on a constant basis, not because I fly into rages without being kept in check, but because the job I have doesn't give me the ability to speak like I would if I was trolling on a comment board. I have to communicate as succinctly, as honestly, and as nicely as possible, all at the same time. But I also have my opinions, and most times, I'm going to fight for those opinions until my throat goes dry. So, I like a healthy debate. Debate is good.

Not on the Internet, though. Here, debate is bad. Here, you love something or you must hate it. You hate something or you must love it. This happens frequently with popular culture, depending on what the topic is. You should feel comfortable arguing your love for The Middle, because most people won't contest that love one way or the other. But if you say a single bad word about Community or The Dark Knight or any other bit of modern entertainment that's considered untouchable by the seeming masses of people who make up comment boards, watch out. (And let me clarify: I love Community and The Dark Knight. So don't flame this post.) Here's the real issue: it's not that we love what we love, or we hate what we hate. It's that for many people, there is no in-between area. There is nothing between love and hate. There's one and the other. You're with me or you're against me.

The real issue for me is that we're shutting down conversations before they begin, simply because a person has no interest in engaging in a discussion, a debate, even an argument about a topic. Here's an example. As you may or may not know--and you really should--I'm running a Disney movie podcast called Mousterpiece Cinema and have been for the past few months. (Shameless plug: check it out on iTunes.) One of the ways I'm trying to get the word out for the show is by posting in the Disney fan forums all over the Internet. I'm focusing on four, because they're the biggest and because I don't have all the time in the world to dedicate to posting to mostly travel-dedicated Disney forums. (Sidebar, that I'll likely explore in the podcast's blog at one point: why are so many Disney fanatics online--I consider myself such a person, mind you--not Disney movie fans? I don't say this as a way to complain that the folks on these forums aren't listening to the show, but to point out that each of these forums puts all entertainment-related discussion at the bottom of the boards, as if it's not important. To those people, I say only that the parks you love do not exist without the movies I love. End sidebar.) On one such forum, there cropped up a discussion about the new ABC drama Once Upon A Time.

Now, far be it from me to make an opinion into a declarative statement. So, I'll just say this: I don't think much of Once Upon A Time. I think the concept is OK for a movie or miniseries, but not a TV show, and the execution is sometimes legitimately laughable. Frankly, I don't think I'm lying to say I've laughed out loud at something that's clearly not supposed to be funny at least once in each of the first three episodes. (To answer the question you're all asking, my wife likes the show, so I've seen all of the episodes so far, even though that streak will likely end soon.) So, on this board, it may not surprise you to know that the opinions offered about this Disney-produced show about the Disney version of fairy tale characters was positive. Most of the opinions were short and sweet. They were also riddled with grammatical errors, but that's neither here nor there. I ventured in to offer my slightly longer, more detailed thoughts. My response was, "That's too bad for you. It's a very good show."

One of my many flaws is that I can't let things go. Of course, most of the things I can't let go are minor, thus making my inability to drop a subject even more perplexing. (You could even, if you wanted, assume that me writing this post is proof of not letting the issue go, or trying to make it evaporate through a blog.) If this had been a discussion I'd had in real life, depending on who I was talking to, I might've countered with, "Well, you may think that, but it's not a fact. I don't like the show." There wasn't much of a follow-up (though another poster took the time to list out, in number form, the problems they had with the show, and bless their heart for doing so), because it wasn't worth it for me to get into a virtual shouting match with someone who uses the Internet as a place to throw out their quickie reviews and just shrug off anyone who disagrees.

Listen, the issue at hand is not about whether Once Upon A Time is a good show or not. The issue I have is that, too frequently these days, we shut down conversations if it involves us having to defend something. That, dear reader, can be the beauty of liking something so much. Not only will others not share your opinions, but you need to defend it. Why shouldn't we defend what we like? One of the more engaging, exciting aspects of the Internet is that we're interacting with people we'd never have met before, and we're talking with them about our interests. Difference of opinion should be encouraged on the Internet as should debates about those opinions. If you like something and I don't, tell me why you like it. Maybe you'll convince me. If I like something and you don't, let me tell you why. Sometimes, it'll be as simple as, "It makes me laugh," or "The characters appeal to me." Sometimes, it can be a comment the size of a term paper. But the defense should be welcome. I hesitate to say that if you can't tell me why you like or dislike something, your opinion is invalid, but if you're willing to open yourself up to the vast expanse of the World Wide Web, you better be prepared to do a bit of thinking.

I also suppose this ties into another frustration I have with some folks on the Internet: everything doesn't have to be the best thing ever. This is a weird argument to make, I know, and it positions me as a real misanthrope. But honestly, there comes a point where you being positive about everything makes me feel like I'm on a neverending sugar high. I notice it with some folks in Hollywood (not all, mind you, but there are a select few I have in mind who I won't name here), and it happens on some of these forums. It's a real challenge to, in my case, have a Disney movie podcast that will not gush about every single Disney movie in the history of cinema (hint: this is because they are not all the best thing ever), and go to forums where people treat those movies as happy awesome happy cool happy. I feel weird having to say this, but I am not a hateful miser. I like things. I love things. I love Disney; hence the show. (A personal favorite I just discussed on the show is Ratatouille, which I discussed about at length, because I could defend my enjoyment.) But not everything is perfect. And being unwilling to engage with people who don't feel the way you do is a way not only of shutting down discourse, but of saying you don't want anyone to tell you different. That's a real shame.

How do we learn anything in this world? Do we just parrot what our parents tell us? I mean, I know that some of my beliefs were shaped by my parents, and I certainly have similar characteristics to them, but I also know that we have frequent debates and disagree on various issues. (They don't like The Royal Tenenbaums, which is crazy because it's THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS. Who doesn't like that?) And sometimes, my opinions are challenged by them, by my wife, by my friends, and by others online. Guess what? GOOD. I want to be challenged. I want to challenge ideas, and I want to have mine challenged. Maybe a challenge to my opinion means I need to reevaluate why I think that way. Changing my opinions doesn't mean I'm weak, it means I'm adapting. Hell, even listening to the opposition is a form of adaptation, because it means I'm willing to hear out what others say. I guess the rambling form of this post is my way of just saying to you, whoever you are: positive opinions and negative opinions are all well and good, but don't be surprised that everyone else in this world doesn't agree with you and don't get angry if you have to back your thoughts up. That's a good thing.