Friday, September 2, 2011

No One To Blame But...

Before I truly get into this rant, let's go over a few things. Yes, it is more than just a little predictable for someone to bitch and moan about George Lucas tampering with the Star Wars movies. Yes, it is fruitless to do so, because Lucas is one of the richest, most powerful figures in Hollywood and he's going to do whatever the hell he wants with his movies. I am also aware that I am one of, oh, say, billions of people to take to the Internet to lodge my complaints with Mr. Lucas, formal or informal. So, while this may be a pointless, fruitless rant directed at a person who would not read it if he was forced to, I'm powering ahead. Join me, won't you?

Like I said, I've made my peace with the fact that George Lucas is going to forever and always feel the need to tinker with the original trilogy. Hell, I'll go ahead and admit that, in 1997, when the original three were re-released in theaters, I didn't really care that much about the changes that had been made. Now Han gets to talk with Jabba! The special effects are even cooler, 'cause they don't look as cheesy! But I was also 12 years old and still far more naive than most other kids my age, and certainly more naive than the people who were 12 in 1977 or 1980 or 1983. So I not only didn't really notice a lot of the changes, but I didn't really care that much. When the new trilogy began in 1999, I knew that something was off, but it didn't fully sink in until after I saw it that the Star Wars of old was not being replicated anew.

Frankly, what rankles me now is not that Lucas continues to tamper with the movies he made because he thinks the masses want him to do so. (Make no mistake, as much as I am annoyed about Lucas updating the original trilogy for the Blu-ray release on September 16, and as happy as I'm going to be to boycott said release, it'll sell millions to people who don't know better or don't care.) What I don't like is that George Lucas assumes he knows what people want, vis a vis removing the original versions of the movies as much as he can. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised; fans know well of his long attempts to essentially erase the "Star Wars Holiday Special" from existence. Being fair, in that case, he's absolutely right to want it banished from the world, as it is legitimately, hilariously terrible. The real problem is that by continuing to update the original trilogy, George Lucas assumes what we all want is the new.

And why not, right? We're all going to buy the trilogy on Blu-ray, the new format, so why wouldn't we want everything to look fancy? Bring on the bells and whistles, right? What Lucas doesn't grasp is that, at least for some fans, new doesn't work. At all. While I know that plenty of young audiences flock to the new trilogy and Clone Wars like moths to a flame, just as many people think of George Lucas and shudder, for good reason. So, when I read that Lucas is screwing around with the ending of Return of the Jedi or making Ewoks blink, I shake my head. I don't do so in disbelief, mind you, because like any half-intelligent person, I expect this kind of behavior from Lucas. I don't like it and wish it wouldn't happen, but I expect it. What annoys me most, though, is something I should've done a while ago: buy the original trilogy on DVD. The most recent DVD release, in 2008, included the original, untouched films, thrown in as something of an afterthought. I didn't buy it then, leaving me with the 2004 release in fullscreen. Talk about shuddering.

This should pose no problem, right? I've seen it on Amazon and Best Buy, and it's only 30-something bucks. More than worth it to hold onto the last remaining vestiges of old-fashioned fun in the Star Wars franchise, so I'll just--hold on a second. Why isn't Amazon selling the 2008 DVDs? Why is it only used and--holy shit, 100 bucks for a used copy? I'll just go to Best Buy. But...not there either. Or on Target's website, or on Walmart's. Or on any number of DVD sites. Because, apparently, the 2008 DVDs have been discontinued. What exactly is George Lucas accomplishing by removing an option from a prospective buyer? It reminds me slightly of how Disney puts its animated releases into the vault for a number of years before re-releasing those movies on a new format or with updated features. Except, you know, Disney DOES release those movies again. And other sci-fi films with numerous cuts, such as Blade Runner, get released with all options available. Do you want to see the version Ridley Scott said was the director's cut in 1992? Check out Disc Two. Want to see his 2008 version? Disc Three. But not with Lucas.

I am going to get the original trilogy, as it was meant to be seen in 1977, 1980, and 1983. It'll cost me more than I want, but it's worth it, almost as a fuck-you to Lucas. I understand that he would say the movie he wanted to make in the 1980s wasn't possible because technology just wasn't up to snuff. I get that he thinks he's improving the movies. I don't get why he assumes I wouldn't want to look at the old version, too. That's the real shame here.